Keep on Keeping On: Rousey Style

I have followed MMA fighter Ronda Rousey for years.  I have mad respect for this woman. I love her story, what she represents and how she is breaking down barriers.

She is the best pound-for-pound athlete and the highest paid MMA fighter in the world…male or female.  This is significant. Huge actually.

From struggling with a major speech impediment in her childhood that prevented her from speaking until the age of six , to losing her father to suicide, to battling an eating disorder, and living out of her car for a time, Ronda has experienced some life. This is why she fights.

She is called “the most dangerous woman in the world.” But, she is as sensitive as she is dangerous. She cries when she talks about her Dad. After every match she says from the octagon, “Dad, I hope you are proud of me.”  At one of her book signings, she broke her PR team’s protocol to take time to talk to a little girl who struggles with the same speech impediment Rousey dealt with as a child.

She talks openly about overcoming her body image issues. Here is how Ronda responds to body shaming critics these days:

DNB“I have this one term for the kind of woman my mother raised me to not be, and I call it a do nothing b*tch. A DNB. The kind of chick that just tries to be pretty and be taken care of by someone else. That’s why I think it’s hilarious if my body looks masculine or something like that…. I think it’s femininely badass …because there’s not a single muscle on my body that isn’t for a purpose, because I’m not a do nothing b*tch.” – Ronda Rousey

Yes, she is crass. She is not eloquent. So what.

I think more young women need to hear this kind of message-I wish I had heard this kind of message from a female athlete when I was growing up.

In spite of all Ronda’s success, she still drives the same car she did long before her success, rents a house with her best friend and admits she is not comfortable with the attention that has come with her success.

We all fight-in different ways and for different reasons. Whatever your fight, however you fight, keep on keeping on.

Thanks for representing, Ronda

photo from https://represent.com/ronda

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How Receiving and Giving are Connected

Gifts-of-ImperfectionUntil we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart.” ~Brene Brown in “The Gifts of Imperfection”

This makes sense. When you don’t  receive love, kindness, etc. well, you are not only depriving yourself of experiencing these things, but you are also depriving others the gift of experiencing these things through you.
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As someone who self-identifies as a care-giver who struggles with receiving love, this really made me think. The core issue (at least for me) is related to the the lie that I am not worthy. The truth is that I am worthy and that YOU are worthy…as we are…where we are. 
♥ ♥ ♥
 
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Makeup…An Adult Form of Coloring

  Here is my answer to the age-old question, “Why do you wear makeup?”

Simply put, makeup is my medium and faces are my canvas.  My goal in doing my makeup is to highlight my best features. I think of it as an adult form of coloring.

I think it is irritating when people make assumptions about why women wear makeup. As a woman who enjoys wearing makeup, here is what I would like others to know…

Enjoying wearing makeup is NOT synonymous with being shallow or lacking confidence

Wearing makeup does NOT necessarily mean that one wants to impress others or draw attention to oneself

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Hurt for Those Who Hurt You

IMG_3297I think it is safe to say that most people have encountered bullies in life.  I have. When I think about these people, I feel anger.

But anger is a secondary emotion. What I really feel is disappointment. I feel disappointed in bullies. I feel disappointed in those who provide an audience for the bullies…But most of all, I feel disappointed in myself, because when I give these things a place in my life- darkness wins.

What I have realized is that bullies carry heavy burdens. Bullies spew their hurts onto others in ugly, destructive ways.  It hurts to be on the receiving end of this destruction.  But here is the thing…the ugliness and destruction that bullies spill onto others is only a fraction of the pain and hurt that they carry inside. Hurt people hurt people.

What if we learned to hurt for those who hurt us? I think that this would be transformational…beautifully transformational.

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Fat Pants

IMG_2794I recently found a plastic container of clothes that I had labeled “FAT Pants/Shorts.” I initially felt a sense of freedom and accomplishment due to the fact that I have lost weight….however, this feeling was followed by an intense sense of guilt and shame. Why? Because I was shaming myself-my heavier self-when I labeled this box.

Self-shame is not healthy or productive, but I do it. In the moments when I am really honest with myself, I realize that this shame does not just hurt me. Shame (associated with anything) is NOT JUST A SELF ISSUE. If I cannot be truly kind, accepting and gracious with myself, how can I truly extend these things to others?

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Neat Little Boxes

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Someone once said to me “I can’t figure you out.” I don’t know what exactly was meant by this comment, but it felt like the person was frustrated because they had been trying to place me in a neat little box.  I wanted to say “ I am complicated and far from neat and tidy. There is only one me.” I am sure I muttered something amusing along these lines. But the point is that we all have preconceived notions about people. We label. We judge. We try to place people in neat little boxes.

The problem is that when something is placed in a box , it is labeled so that one does not forget the contents. Boxes with labels are cast aside and placed on shelves. People are not meant to be placed in boxes. So, revisit the boxes on your shelves. You might be surprised by what you overlooked.

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Just Nature Doing its Thing

Last week I noticed  apeony1nts crawling all over the yet-to-bloom mystery flowers growing along-side the garage. I thought that the ants were going to destroy the buds, so I sprayed the plants with an insectaside.  

Early this week my colleague brought in a small bouquet of beautiful flowers that she picked from her yard. She mentioned that ants were attracted to her flowers, which were peonies. I described my mystery flowers to her and solved peon2part of the mystery. 

According to the Heartland Peony Society, it is believed that ants are attracted to the nectar produced by peonies,  and ants actually help to open the flower buds…so it turns out that ants are part of the plan!

Thankfully the ants returned, and my peonies are blooming…albeit a bit late

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The Story of the Scorpion and the Frog

A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream.  The scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, “How do I know you won’t sting me?” The scorpion says, “because if I sting you while you cross the stream, surely I shall drown.” The frog is satisfied, and they set out. But in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, but has just enough time to gasp “Why? Now you shall surely drown!” The scorpion replies: “Because it is my nature.”

The scorpion represents people in your life who are not going to change-people who sting because it is their nature. While you cannot change the nature of these people, you can change how you respond to these people.  You can choose not to give these people power or influence in your life. You can also choose not to gather by the stream.
scorpion and frog
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